Diary of a Small Brown Dog

Saturday, July 7th
We were left to fend for ourselves once more this morning.  After breakfast, of course.  And after we’d done a brief perimeter patrol.  The humans said something about a market and not wanting to have dogs pulling out of them – I don’t know what they could possibly mean by that!
We don’t mind being left behind so much now.  We climb onto the table where the humans eat their food and we can sit and look out of the window.  A lot of cars, people, dogs and even cats go by, but we scare them all away with our ferocious barking.  We are dangerous and they know it!
The humans must have felt guilty about leaving us, and they came back for us after a short while.  We all went off in the hot, stinky jeep.  We ended up in a place I remembered, the ground was very red, but it was much hotter this time.  It was nice, though, the red ground is interesting.  I like looking at it.

The humans had ice cream.  I tried hypnosis again.  I think I’m getting quite good at it now.  Ice cream is very nice.

 I AM HYPNODOG….

YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….


I AM HYPNODOG….

YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….
I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….
Aw hell, I’ll get it myself

Sunday, July 8th
Today was…different.  The humans went away for ages and ages, but they took Cookie with them.  And me? I got to stay in our “proper” house!  It was great!  The humans who are there now are really nice and I got lots of cuddles, plenty of food and (shhhhh!) I was allowed to cuddle up with them on the couch.  The cats and Poppy stayed out of my way all day, which was fine by me!
I’m now curled up in my bedroom with Poppy.  It’s very late.  My humans are still missing.  I hope they are ok.
Monday, July 9th
I am still in our “proper” house.  No sign of Cookie and the humans, but I don’t care anymore.  The humans here are great.  I think I will stay with them forever! 
Today I found a big box of dog toys – lovely chewy things and balls with fur on (well they used to have fur on, sorry Poppy) so I buried loads of them in my bed to keep forever.  Unfortunately, the humans spotted them and took them out.  I will have to work on my burying skills.
What’s that noise? Oh, it’s the jeep.  Damn, it’s the humans and Cookie.  I will have to pretend to be happy to see them.  Ok, here we go, ears pricked, tail wagging, sparkly eyes….
Tuesday, July 10th
We had a very quiet day today.  The humans said they went out “for a walk” but I don’t believe them – there is no way they would dare to go for a walk without us.  Cookie and I sat on the table and scared people away from our house all morning.  Then we did a very short perimeter patrol around the streets of Céreste late in the afternoon.  All was well.
Wednesday, July 11th
Another trip to the lake!  More swimming!  I love swimming now!

Cookie was not so keen, although she swam a bit at the start.  Then she stood on a rock and refused to move.  

I climbed up beside her to tell her how much fun I was having in the water, so she pushed me back in.  A bit cheeky, I think. 
The humans continued to try to encourage her into the water, but she suddenly pulled back and wriggled out of the harness.  What a clever trick!  I must try to figure it out!
Anyway, it seems she wanted to play chasing, not swimming.  She ran around and around, through the woods, down to the water, back up the little beach, leapt over a man who was lying in the sun (he was a bit surprised the first time, but got used to it after a few times), and back into the woods…. again and again and again. 
The humans were having so much fun with me that they refused to play chase with her.

She was a bit put out by this and redoubled her efforts, even climbing into a tree a little bit to try to entice them closer, but it still didn’t work.  I was clearly much more interesting than her, especially when one of the humans and I picked up a scent under some rocks.  I think it was lizard – maybe even one of the ones with no legs!  It was fascinating!  Even Cookie wanted to see what it was, so she came over too, but the fun ended quickly when She-human grabbed Cookie by the neck and said “Gotcha!”

They kept Cookie on a short leash after that.  Cookie was still laughing after all her fun, though.
Thursday, July 12th
We decided to stay at home and relax today.  I love the sun and the warmth now!  I like to lie on the balcony in the sun and get really hot, then I like to come back into the cool house and get cold again.

The humans got ice-creams later on.



I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….

I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….


I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….
or just hand it to me….

Yum!  I love it here now.  I hope we are staying here forever.

Friday, June 13th
I’ve got a really bad feeling.  The humans have been packing and tidying all day, so that there are no nice brown and white hairs to be seen anymore.  Maybe they are going away without us!  I’d miss them, but it would be ok if we could stay in our other house with the nice people there.
Later on, we were taken to a Vet.  I found the place where all the dog-food in the world is stored…

bags and bags of it!

I didn’t have enough time to open a bag, though, we had to go in to talk to the Vet.  He held the white bleeping wand over my head, looked in my eyes and ears  and mouth and held the cold coin tubing thing to my chest.  He talked to the humans about me having a heart murmur… I’m not sure what that is.  Cookie doesn’t have one, though.  Lucky me!

I remember previous Vet visits like this.  They were all followed by a long drive. Sigh.
I hope there won’t be any more prison cells on Ferryships.
Saturday, June 14th
Yes, there was a long drive ahead of us.  It wasn’t as hot as the last time though.  The humans put our bed in the middle part of the car and hung a thing on the window which blocked the sun.  I like to see out, though, but I could put my head behind it and look, so it was ok.

We slept a lot.

Then we arrived in the same place we stayed before, where all four of us slept in one room.
We ate with lots of other people.  I like it when we do that.  I work my hypnosis on the other people in the room to try to make them drop food.

I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….


Sometimes it works, but not today.

Sunday, June 15th.
More driving.  We slept.

Then, as I feared, incarceration in the Ferryship.  No, humans!  Don’t go! We hate it here!

Where to now, I wonder?

The Horses’ New Home

I had already decided that the horses would not be going back to La Florentine full time – not having an arena would just make life too difficult for me with two horses to look after.  I priced a couple of big establishments in the area – there’s a very posh FFE (Fédération Française d’Equitation) approved place in Caseneuve, and another nice place in Buoux which is supposed to be very good.  Bigger unfortunately seems to mean “more expensive” too, so I had come to the conclusion that I would lodge the horses in La Florentine for a few months during the year, save a few quid and just do trekking for that time.

When we found out we wouldn’t be renting La Belle Cour, I stopped thinking about finalising the horses’ accommodation while we concentrated on finding somewhere for ourselves to live, although I kept my eyes peeled as we drove around the Provençal countryside, watching out for any signs of horse life.  I spotted lots of nice places, but they all turned out to be too far away.

Once we finalised the details of renting at Les Granons, though, I went into full “finding livery” mode.  The stables I had ear-marked before our visit, Caseneuve and Buoux, were ruled out straight away – they were much too far away from Les Granons.

I vaguely knew that there were stables near Reillanne, very close to Les Granons, so that was the first place we actually went to see.  It was at the end of a very long, narrow, winding lane, and seemed completely deserted, so after knocking on the door of the little house, we poked around a bit.  It was very basic, and arena-less, although there was a lunging ring.  The horses were kept in groups of two and three in small paddocks, they all had shelter of some sort, but you definitely got a sort of makeshift vibe about the place.  I’m not one to knock Makeshift – I’m a great believer in duct tape and baler twine – but the lack of arena meant it got a big NO.

cheval equitation provence sejour equestre vacances à cheval
Centre Equestre Pegase

From there, we carried on towards the town of Mane, about 15km from Les Granons, where I had seen a sign for a Centre Equestre at the side of the road.  Centre Equestre Pégase looked great!
Monsieur (son of the proprieter) greeted me politely and professionally, and introduced me to Madame, who was trimly efficient, smartly dressed in jodhs and a shirt.  Madame showed me around.  There were two nice big arenas on either side of the drive, a very well fenced lunging ring near the stables, the horses all looked in good condition and in general everything looked really smart.  There were plenty of other liveries and a very active Club Cheval – I would not be short of company!  The price was a lot cheaper than the places in Caseneuve and Buoux, even though it seemed just as good.  I was thinking YES! until I saw the paddocks for the livery horses – Flurry and Aero would be kept in a bare paddock, about 20×30 Meters (smaller than a small dressage arena) with a wooden field shelter.

One of the things which is essential for barefoot horses is movement, which is why living out works better for them than being stabled.  A bigger paddock is preferable – I knew this, after all, I blogged about it in “Our Paddock Paradise.”  I was having trouble convincing myself that Centre Equestre Pégase wouldn’t work out, though, as it seemed so perfect in every other way, so I posted my thoughts on Hay-Net, a really great horsey social network – think Facebook for horse people!  Carol, from Horsecarecourses.com, left a reply which put it in a nutshell “Small paddocks can be v. difficult to manage, they turn to mud really quickly in the wetter weather and can get really miserable. If I were you I’d put it on a short list and keep looking.”  Keep looking?  Why not!  We still had three days left in Provence!

Back to the intenet, google “ecuries” “mane” and what pops up but Écuries de Mane, an FFE approved establishment with a Club Cheval, Poney Club, regular competitions in dressage, jumping and Trec, two outdoor arenas and one indoor – Wow!  But strangely, it mentioned nothing about Pension (livery).  It was a couple of km further on from Centre Equestre Pégase, so we set off to check it out in person – my French is really not up to phone calls!

We arrived in a yard where there were a lot of microscopic children preparing to ride a lot of microscopic ponies, supervised by a teenage girl.  She directed us towards “Madame” who was in the office.  The whole place had a nice vibe, the horses looked well and seemed to have nice big paddocks and the yard was neat and tidy.

Madame was rather large, dressed in a flowing smock and harem pants – quite unusual for a French lady!  She was quite désolée (I love that word, literally desolate, but it means “very sorry”) to tell me that they didn’t do livery at all, but she was genuinely interested in helping me.  Was I looking for outdoor livery or indoor?  Outdoor?  Well, this is the best place, she said, handing me a business card, it even has an arena, although it’s a bit small, she added with an apologetic smile.  I looked at the card – the address was Reillanne – surely not the place we had already looked at?  No, Madam gave us directions, the livery yard was on the far side of Reillanne from Les Granons, so definitely a different place. 

We made our way straight there, and found it by the simple expedient of matching the picture on the card to a house we passed.  The high quality equestrian electric fencing was a bit of a giveaway, too.  We knocked on the door and called out Bonjour, but to no avail, so we had a little snoop around.  The barn was full of sweet smelling hay, the horses looked content and well-fed and the paddocks were ideal – at least a quarter of an acre, with loads of trees for shelter plus a timber field shelter in each.  But where was the arena?  Although the paddocks were ideal, “Arena” was number one on my list of requirements.

We called back the following day, at a different time, hoping to catch someone at home. Same story, it was completely deserted.  This time we snooped a bit more and found the arena!  Two, actually, there was a lunging ring too!  The main arena certainly wasn’t small – it looks slightly bigger than a full-sized dressage arena, and they both had a great surface – grit and rubber granules.  There was a view towards the Alpes de Haute Provence to die for, too – magical!

It seemed perfect – good paddocks, good arenas and only ten minutes drive away from our new home.  We just had to find the owner, to find out the price and, most importantly, if she  could take two more horses, but time was running out – we were leaving Céreste in 36 hours.  I left a note in the mailbox, with my phone number and email address and we waited.
And waited.
And waited.

By mid-morning the next day, our very last day, I’d had enough of waiting.  I’m just going to have to muddle through a phone call, I said, so I girded my loins, prepared what I wanted to say in my head and rang.  I coped fine – she spoke really clearly and carefully, thank goodness.  No, she hadn’t seen my note.  Yes, we could make an appointment.  Oh, you have to take your dogs to the vet this afternoon?  How about six, so? Ok!

So after I took the dogs to the vet for their de-worming (it has to be done before they are allowed back into Ireland) I made my way back to the yard.  This time the owner appeared immediately, dressed in jodhs and t-shirt.  My first impression was “young” and perhaps a little unsure of herself in dealing with the strange foreign lady who spoke French badly.

We introduced ourselves and she showed me around (of course I pretended I hadn’t seen it all before!)  Here is the arena… the paddocks… she introduced me to the horses… yes, she has a few other liveries, yes they do a little competing but mostly trekking… yes, she could take my two… she is an instructor and could give me lessons if necessary…  She asked me about my horses and what I do with them, and she seemed to get a bit more confident talking to me, maybe she had been worried that we wouldn’t be able to communicate at all. The price?  Cheaper again than Centre Equestre Pégase – woohoo!  She would build their field shelter once she knew for sure that the horses would be coming – did I think I would keep them there?

How do you say Hell Yeah! in French?

Diary of a Small Brown Dog

Thursday, June 28th
Cookie and I are once again incarcerated in the stinking bowels of the Ferryship.  What have we done to deserve this?  I can only assume that our humans are being detained in a similar manner.  And speaking of stinking bowels, didn’t anyone discuss CONTROL with that bloodhound that was locked up in the cell beneath us.  ICK!
Friday, June 29th
We were released from prison – hooray!  A long drive ensued, but we’ve ended up in much nicer accommodation tonight – we have a whole room to share with our humans.  Dammit, why can’t they understand that a large bed is essential for a small brown dog? 
Saturday, June 30th
After many long hours spent in the noisy, stinky, hot jeep, with occasional breaks to allow the humans fetch water for us, we arrived at our destination.  I knew at once where I was – this is where we spent the winter!  But our house is at the other end of the village – silly humans have brought us to the wrong house!  This one smells funny!  And there are no cats for Cookie to play with!
Sunday, July 1st
The house still smells funny, but the couch is nice and comfy to sleep on!  Nearly as good as a human bed!  It’s getting nicely coated with brown and white hairs too – me and Cookie are doing our best to make it feel like home.  Speaking of home, this place (Céreste, the humans call it) has changed.  It’s warmer but much much wetter.  It’s pretty much just like our normal home where it rains all the time.
Monday, July 2nd
We were left behind!  Abandoned in a strange place! What could we do but bark and howl our despair out to the world?  Then the humans arrived back with “shopping” and all was well once again.  We even got them to take us for a walk later on – that’s me, right at the bottom of the photo :
The rain here has stopped and it’s warm.  Much warmer than I’m used to.  It’s a bit tiring.
Tuesday, July 3rd
What a great start to the day!  We got out with the humans early and ran a perimeter patrol to the north of Céreste.  Well, I ran.  The humans and Cookie walked.  I had to stop and catch my breath sometimes, though.
And then… we were abandoned!  Again!  This is terrible.  What do they think they are doing?  
They came back.  Eventually.  I am a very unimpressed small brown dog.  
Wednesday, July 4th
BEST. DAY. EVER.  
We stuck with them for the whole day!  First of all we all went for a really great walk.  We ended up by a river, and I was going in for my usual paddle, when one of the humans spotted a ball.     
I like balls.  I like to rip off their green fur, although I have not yet managed to disembowel one – but I digress.
The human cleverly retrieved the ball, and then promptly threw it back into the water. Silly human!  What could I do?  I tried to paddle out to it but it was too deep and I found myself swimming.  Swimming is weird and a bit scarey – it’s like you’re walking but there’s no ground underneath you.  Thoroughly un-natural.  I quickly looped back to the shore and assessed the situation.
I really wanted to retrieve that ball (even though I am not a retriever per se) so I tried from another angle…

 I ended up swimming…

but I was so close to the ball that I managed to grab it and swim back to shore with it!

Yes!  In my mouth!  I have never in all my life done that before!  I was so proud of myself and so happy to have rescued the ball!
The rest of the day was mostly spent in the noisy, stinky and rather hot jeep.  We did have one nice break though, we went to a Café where we are well known and were recognised immediately.  I spent most of lunchtime working on my hypnosis skills. 

I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….

I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….

It’s not working.  I must be doing something wrong.

Thursday, July 5th
Another truly brilliant day! Yes, we spent a lot of time in the hot, stinky jeep, but we got a great walk in as well!
We ended up by a lake.

The water was so cool!

I got to practise swimming again.

I’m really starting to like it.

I even retrieved a stick.

It was great!
Cookie doesn’t like it so much, though.  Ha! I am so much cooler than she is!

Friday, July 6th
Another great walk today!  This time it was a perimeter patrol to the East of Céreste.  The humans stopped for a food break along the way, and I tried hypnosis again.

I AM HYPNODOG….
YOU WILL OBEY ME….
DROP FOOD….

It’s starting to work!  They gave us both some nuts!  They were yummy!

The walk was pretty hot and there was no swimming today, so Cookie and I settled down to snooze the afternoon away in the cool house.  We didn’t mind so much when the humans went out and left us.  Who wants to spend hours in a hot stinky jeep?  And anyway, this place is starting to smell pretty good now.  There’s lots and lots of nice brown and white hairs all over the place now.

“A small brown dog is an essential piece of kit for giving perspective in photographs.”  What can she possibly mean by that?
I spent the afternoon mulling this over in between naps. 
I still don’t understand.