Dear Cookie

Dear Cookie,

I am writing to let you know that I have decided to keep your human. You have done a good job training him (he gives the most excellent belly rubs) but now it is time for him to be re-homed with a dog who is will truly appreciate his finer qualities, a handsome Anglo-Hispanic dog like me.

I have already decided which photo we will use for next year’s Christmas card, this one is rather fetching, no?